Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize