I swear she didn't look like that last week.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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