There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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