do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you will always have a special place in my vag
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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