I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
