Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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