Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
