these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
