I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My hand turned me down
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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