i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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