I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
