I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
