I'm sorry my penis didn't work
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize