So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
