It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
