i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
