i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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