Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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