HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
