Christians are straight up FREAKS
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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