She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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