I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ketchup is God's man juice
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
