I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
