i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
