I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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