You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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