everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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