He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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