I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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