he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
