dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
