Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
