i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
