So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
