all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
