Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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