You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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