Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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