Got a toothbrush?
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
