True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
