I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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