NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
