I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
