I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
being pregnant is like rehab
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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