we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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