garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
