woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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