my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
