how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize