If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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