he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
