dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Someone came in the potted fern
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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