I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
