No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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