You work out of a Hotel?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
