I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
