She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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