How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
