nut hugger
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
