I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
