At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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