Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
