Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
