She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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