In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
