Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
